Connie's Blog

Kindred Spirit at Sunset Beach, NC

Yesterday on a car, I saw a decal with a Palmetto tree sandwiched in between the words, Salt Life. I cannot wait for our trip to the beach this year. Several years ago I received an email devotional about the Kindred Spirit on Sunset Beach. I was so excited to find that it was just across the South Carolina line. My family and I have taken many vacations there over the last several years.

The mailbox sits amidst the dunes in an area called Bird Island. They claim it is only a short walk down the beach, but it is really closer to 2 miles. The mailbox is full of journals and pens and people come to write in them. The journals are there for anyone to write in and of course you can read what others have written.

My son, Ryan, proposed to his future wife, Casey, on Sunset Beach in 2008. It took the whole family to pull it off. While he was proposing, I was supposed to be moving the bouquet of roses he had left at a neighboring house with his uncle. Just as I was walking down the steps, there were Ryan and Casey coming up them. There was no smile and at first I thought maybe she said no, but then Ryan told me she needed to use the bathroom before their walk. She then complained to Ryan about how he never bought her flowers anymore and how sweet it was of my husband, Mike, to surprise me with some. Of course she later found out they were hers. They did get married on a beach, but they chose a beach in Jamaica and had a wonderful time.

This year there are no proposals that I know of, but it will be my grandson, Daniel’s first trip to the beach. I can’t wait to see his reactions. His mother, my daughter, Amanda was seven the first time she saw the beach. She ran out to the sand letting the water wash over her feet. She stood there absorbing the whole scene and then she whispered to me, “Mama, I can feel the whole Earth moving beneath my feet.”

I am so looking forward to my week of the Salt Life. A scene in my novel in progress takes place at Sunset Beach so I am really looking forward to researching the area.

In August I will return for my final three classes I must take before graduating. I took my first college class back in 2001, so it has taken me quite a while to get here. And if anyone out there is thinking about quitting, don’t. Take a break if you need to, sometimes life just gets in the way. Give yourself permission if you need to or just cut back on the number of classes you take.

For Converse II, the keys are perseverance, optimism, and discipline.

My personal blog is www.connietk.blogspot.com

I blog about Sunday Dinners, where I include recipes and memories. Widow’s Walk, my life as a widow. Write Now, my life as a writer with a novel in progress.

It has been so much fun. I wish all the graduating seniors the best. For all of you other students, your graduation will be here before you know it. For Converse II, hang in there, you’re doing this for yourself and your family. And for all the faculty and staff, I appreciate all your efforts, encouraging words, and wisdom.

Sunrise on Sunset Beach, NC

If you’ve read my blog, you know I love to read. When we go on family vacations, my brother loves to make up his own superlatives for the week: spent the most time at the beach, spent the most time at the house, drank the most margaritas, best tan, worst tan, best sunburn, and so on. I always win read the most books. They laugh at me because I show up with a sack full of books. You just don’t know what you want to read and I like to have options. Now, I love my e-reader, but wary about taking it down to the sand. I’ll stick to paperback books and even an occasional library book. I wonder about the person who gets that book after me, can they smell the ocean air on the pages?

With Dorothea Benton Frank

Last summer, Dorothea Benton Frank came to Spartanburg at the Alumnae House. If you ever get the opportunity to hear her speak, go. She is enthusiastic and entertaining. She loves to share a little about her process of writing. If you are in Spartanburg this summer, she will be returning at 7 on June 14, Dorothea Benton Frank A special evening – Hub City Writers Project tickets are selling fast though.

So of course on my summer reading list is her latest, Porch Lights.

I have a huge reading list for this summer. And I read a wide variety of genres. So in no particular order, here are some of the books I plan on reading this summer.

Summer Reading List

The Patron Saint of Dreams • The Iguana Tree • The Coldest Night • The Guest Book • Brave Enemies • Defending Jacob • Red, White and Blood • Tricked

Yes, I realize it is a rather eclectic group, but I love it. I am sure I will also include some other titles along the way.

I am also always reading a book about the craft of writing. Right now I am reading Orson Scott Card’s Characters and Viewpoints and Francine Prose’s Reading Like a Writer.

With my time as a Converse blogger coming to an end, I invite you to join me at my personal blog where I blog about Sunday dinner and the journey of a writer: http://connietk.blogspot.com

Joyce Carol Oates is coming to Converse and I am so excited.  Her works have long been an inspiration to me. And I am amazed at the vast content of her various works. I was first introduced to her writing through “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” I was fascinated to read about a character that I shared a first name with. Of course as I read, I was extremely thankful my life did not take the same direction of the Connie in the story.

I read an article about the story’s inspiration, a news article about a serial killer. Writers are always looking for inspiration. My current novel in progress was actually inspired by a news article I read about divorced spouses, who return to help their terminally ill exes.

I was at the Christian Writers Conference last weekend here in Spartanburg and there is so much energy when a group of like-minded individuals get together. On Friday evening we broke into groups of our various genres and had the opportunity to talk a little about our works in progress and receive immediate feedback from published authors. I was amazed at the various reactions. One woman insisted her story stood as it was and she had already written several follow up novels. She refused to listen to any of the panel’s suggestion.

I thought my novel had a great outline too, but then the panel made a few suggestions. I did not really want to listen, but after attending many workshops, I have learned to listen to constructive criticism. Maybe we should change the term to constructive instruction because it is not really meant to be critical at all.

That evening I ruminated over their suggestions. I thought I had such a great conflict for the daughter in my novel in progress, but the panel suggested it was not enough. I wrote a new scene and immediately realized they were correct.

In my first workshop in creative writing here at Converse, I was irrationally attached to a few paragraphs in a short story I was writing. Professor Tekulve encouraged me to let it go. I believe she even agreed that the paragraphs were good, but not right for that particular story. This gave birth to my cut file on my computer. Anything I am not willing to let go of, but is not working for that piece, I place in the cut file, safe to revive when the right work comes along.

As my college career is coming to a close, only three more classes, but as a part-time student, I will be here in the fall, I know where I have been, but where I am going is what I am excited about most. Converse II has allowed me to revive a dream that I assumed the time had passed, but now I’m here, the dream emerges from the cut file of my life.

I have been to several writing conferences since I decided to pursue my dream of writing. I was so excited to find that this one was extremely affordable and would be hosted in my hometown.

Some of the information I’ve heard before. Writers write. Write what you know. Perseverance is the key; you must show up. Writers read. After all, how can you write if you never read?

The keynote speaker was Carolyn Stoddard Goss. She was amazing. Three questions you should ask yourself if you want to be a writer.

1. Are you an observer?
2. Do you tend to your mind?
3. Do you write?

The answer to all three for me is yes in varying degrees. Most of the time I feel like I am an astute observer, but the other day I was passing through town only to realize that the old movie theatre is no longer there. I’m not sure when that happened.

I try to tend to my mind. I do read quite widely. While contemporary women’s fiction is my favorite genre. I read across many. I also read writing books, biographies, memoirs, and just about anything that catches my attention. I love the fact that with e-books I can sample several pages before committing to a purchase.

I have been writing a good bit lately, but I am preparing my senior thesis. My novel in progress is beckoning me, but I jot ideas down and throw them in the box. One thing at a time.

And time management is something I feel is important for every writer. It is easy in this day of technology to get caught up in other things. Sometimes you have to turn it all off and just write.

So if you want to be a writer, go to writers conferences. As Vonda Skelton said, “It is wonderful to be around other people, who are weird like me.” For if you’re a writer, you take no offense for you know exactly what she means.

And then there was Edie Melson. Thanks to her, I am no longer terrified of twitter, Facebook, or blogging. I came away with some valuable information and I can’t wait to put it to use. She also has a wonderful ebook that you should check out for the bargain price of 99 cents and it is perfect for newbies, who are just beginning to dip their toes in the social networking pool.

My blog is a work in progress. I have several changes in mind for the near feature. I plan on implementing scheduled topics and some design changes. I am also navigating hoot suite to make better use of Twitter and Facebook.

Daniel on his first Easter

We spent every Easter at my grandmother’s house. My uncles would take our Easter baskets out into her yard and hide the eggs. It was always a challenge to find them all. One year when it rained, they hid the eggs in grandmother’s bedrooms. We missed one and she found it days later after it had begun to smell. After that, only plastic eggs were allowed to be hidden in the house.

This past Easter Sunday, I made all the traditional dishes my grandmother used to make. We had ham, green beans, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and cornbread dressing. We had cupcakes with green icing (food coloring) and jelly beans on top. My niece and nephew loved them.

My grandson, Daniel didn’t know what to think of all the colored eggs. He is just beginning to use his fingers. He giggles a little now and he smiles a lot.

I am looking forward to next year when he’s able to walk and is searching for the eggs himself.

On my son’s first Easter, I bought him a stuffed lamb that he slept with every night. To soothe himself to sleep, he would twist and twirl the fur between his fingers. By the time I finally convinced him to give up the sleeping with the lamb, his little friend only had a little fur left on his face. Have you ever seen a bald stuffed animal?

Caramel colored sunrise

In poetry class we were challenged to look for the unexpected – to see something different even if it was in the smallest of details. These are the wonderful things that often become great lines in poems. So here are some things I have noticed and written in my journal.

Headlights hitting blue reflectors spaced in perfect increments for a short distance on the road from home

Freshly pressed starch linen shirt reminds me of how my grandmother ironed everything including the sheets

Nearly full moon glowing white against the blueberry sky

White rays of sun peeking through gray clouds

Caramel colored sunrise

Man riding a motorcycle and I can see the khaki pants he is wearing covered by leather chaps

A rundown house transformed in the evening by Christmas lights

People rushing spring by wearing t-shirts and shorts even though there is still a wintery chill in the air

The blue reflectors really made me wonder since I only saw a few. They seemed sporadic and yet I knew there was a pattern for when they appeared they all seemed to be spaced an equal distance. I found that they indicated the proximity of fire hydrants.

The man on the motorcycle really intrigued me. Motorcycles make me think of young men on fast bikes or aging men on a Harley Davidson. The first thing I noticed was the helmet and the leather and I really wondered why he was out at seven in the morning on a motorcycle. But as I paid attention to the details – I saw the backpack and that he had khaki pants on beneath the leather chaps. We were going the same way and I watched him turn into a business parking lot so I assume he is just an average guy who rides a motorcycle to work. And as I was revising a short story last night one of the male characters needed something just a little different about him so he rides a motorcycle and beneath the leather he wears khaki pants and polo shirts.

I saw this on someone’s facebook page a while back. A writer had posted pictures of her face at various ages and reflected on what was happening in her life when those photos were taken. For much of my adult life, I have avoided the subject of the camera’s lens. It was easy since I was usually the one taking the pictures. No matter how old you are, right now in this moment, there is something about your physical appearance that you wish you could change and when you observe this in a photo, you quickly wish it had never been taken. One day in my early thirties I complained to my Aunt Ethel (who was really my third cousin but we all called her Aunt Ethel). I didn’t like the way my thighs looked in a particular picture. She laughed and told me that in about twenty years I would be proud of a picture like that. She was right. So my word of advice to you is don’t avoid the camera. One day you’ll be happy to see that image of yourself. So here are my five faces and since I avoided the camera, this was a rather difficult task.

Me at 10

This is me at ten years old. I have my hair pulled back because I am trying to “train” my hair to be parted down the middle. I wanted to be able to feather my hair like Farrah Fawcett. I am also sure that I am ridiculously fat at this age because I am almost as big as my mother, who was only 5′1″.

Approx 20 years old

Here I am at around 20. I have the centered part, the feathered bangs, and don’t you just love the perm. I am newly married to my first husband, who I have cropped out. And I have not had my children yet. I definitely needed some whitening toothpaste. And I never did grow up to be as tall as my Mom. I stopped growing at 4′11″.

Me at around 30

This is right after my divorce. I am the mother of two. I have lost the feathered bangs and the need to perm my hair. This is before any gray hairs began appearing, but I will have teenagers soon so they will be coming. In a few years I will dye my hair red thinking it will be a lovely auburn color, but it turns out more of a dark maroon, which does not look natural at all. The answer to dying your hair the wrong color is Prell shampoo – it will strip the color out after a few shampoos.

Me at 42

This is probably one of my most favorite recent pictures of me. I have quit avoiding the camera all the time now. My husband Mike and I are at his niece’s wedding. Mike was always avoiding the camera, but the photographer came by and told us to lean and smile which he did. Mike passed away nine months later making this photo even more precious.

Me at 45

This was taken at Christmas. I’m a redhead again much the same color as when I was five. I’ll leave the hair coloring to my hairdresser, Gerald at Visions.

A few weeks after this picture was taken I became a grandmother for the first time. I have two grown married children.

The face is not as smooth. There are lines around my eyes and lips. People have always said I favor my grandmother so hopefully time will as kind to my face as it was to hers.

My family

Sunday dinners

A good movie in the theatre with a Diet Coke and popcorn

Daffodils

Words with Friends

My friend Sandy’s artwork

My ipad and iphone

A good book especially on a rainy day

A nice glass of wine

Nashville, TN

Sunset Beach, NC

Folly Beach, SC

Family vacations

The way my grandson snuggles up to me for comfort

Painting

The way I feel after exercise

Reading

The Amazing Race

Sunrise

French Toast

Keith Urban songs

Baby’s laugh

Completing a project

Compliment on a new sweater

The way my hair looks when I leave the hairdresser

New shoes

Birthday cake

Easter baskets

Autumn leaves

Walking on the beach

Library books

Old family photos

Fresh cut flowers

Warm socks

Fire in the fireplace

Hot cocoa

Winter snow

Being able to download a new book in a minute

Art galleries

Puzzles

Tulips

Children singing

Green

Crocheting

Music

Talking with friends

Reading my journals from past years

Steven Meyers Photography

Sunflowers

Wrapping Christmas presents

Making cupcakes

Candlelight

Sitting outside on a late summer night

Looking at the stars

Smell of clean sheets dried on the clothesline

Bougainvillea

Smell of fresh brewed coffee

My brother teases me about my list of books I want to read. Let’s just say the list is extremely long and seems to be forever growing faster than I can read. Here are two that I just finished.

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh is about a girl named Victoria who has grown up in the foster care system. She has grown up feeling unworthy of love. She has only had one truly good experience, which ended in disaster. She has aged out of the foster system. She has no money, no friends, nobody to help her. What do you do at 18 when you are totally alone? She learned about the language of flowers during her stay with Elizabeth before the disaster. Flowers have continued to be her refuge. They have a language all their own. Yellow roses mean infedility. Daffodils mean new beginnings. There is so much to be said by the choice of flowers. Victoria finds a part time job with a florist, who allows her to use her talent. Soon people are coming in, begging for her special arrangements. And then Victoria meets a caring man and their relationship threatens the little security she has finally found. She doesn’t know how to let someone care. She’s not even sure she can care herself. Some parts were difficult to read. I just wanted to take Victoria home and let her know everything would be okay. I love poignant novels that make me feel as if I know these people.

And then I read World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks. At first I was extremely frustrated with it. It is a series of interviews with various people telling of their story as the world battles zombies threatening to ravage our world and destroy all that is human. They are enemy that is difficult to battle, their numbers are constantly increasing while our numbers fall, they are an army that does not require sleep, rest, or even food to sustain them. The only way to stop them is to destroy the brain. It is interesting to read the global fictional accounts and how humanity eventually manages to survive, but even at the end the threat has not been totally eradicated. This will be out sometime this year as a feature film starring Brad Pitt.

So many people I know only read within the genre they prefer. I love to read across genres and as a writer it is amazing to see what others do with the craft. So if you’re looking for something to read, go to a different section of the bookstore or library. Give something new a try.